As I write this my heart is breaking for a family member who just got bad news, again. They’ve been seeing fertility specialists for years and have gone through many procedures that modern medicine indicates should lead to success. Fertility treatment is invasive, uncomfortable, and… yet many turn to it for help. For this young couple, for all the prayers, money, heartache, and time invested… each time they get the shaking head and the answer “not this time.” An empty room that they so hoped would be a room for a baby. Their baby. I honestly think they have invested at least $40,000 at this point. Maybe more. Maybe slightly less. But their biggest investment that is difficult to recoup is their hope. They have
been hoping, and their hope tank is now empty. And time has passed such that any future attempts will have this woman in the “advanced maternal age” category.

I have no real way to lift up their heads as they both stand with them down, in mourning. What can we do in times when grief has rushed upon a family not just once, not twice, but at least a dozen times in just a relatively short 5-year period of time? What does a Christian faith family do for the one who grieves and
longs to be honored with the sleepless nights, frequent crying, dirty diapers, and the honor that is beyond fathoming as you embrace your child in your arms? Many may tell them to stop putting money into that way of growing your family and just adopt a child. That’s not a quick solution and there is a lot of vetting that goes into the adoption process (as well as money), but when the medical community has no good answer for why this time did not work… everything looked like it should have. The environment was healthy and ready for a successful transfer of embryos.

This couple loves Jesus, is active in their church. Serve others. Opens their hearts and homes to others. Reads the Bible in their personal devotional time. Goes to small group with their family of faith. They will raise any child they are blessed with parenting within the Christian faith and model surrendering to the
Lord every day. They aren’t living that way to make God respond to their prayers. They just LOVE Jesus and each other and their walk with Him. “Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1)

My mom told me at one point in my life when I was in a very dark, disheartened place, and I was completely at the end of myself. She shared a verse that she has treasured. I can hear her loving and tender voice speaking it to me even now, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” (Job 13:15a) It was a very low moment for Job when he spoke those words out loud. It’s a low moment for this young couple, for the extended family, and for anyone who has ever longed to be a parent or for any parent who has “lost” their “child” (of any age).

If we can live from that perspective that Job voiced, coming alongside of those who are grieving (for whatever reason they are facing loss), we live into Jesus’s words to “love our neighbor as ourselves” (Mark 12:31) and his “bless(ings)” outlined in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5).

It seems to me, that within the shared grieving, like with this young couple I mentioned, we find ourselves in the Presence of Jesus, unlike any other time of communing with Him. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)…. “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” (Job 13:15a)

This is my last “Pastor’s Epistle” for Green Tree. The topic is somber, but very real as to where I am at the moment. There will be grieving in my weeks to come, as it has been my honor to serve among you since I met you in August 2021. There will be even more grieving when January rolls around. But I know God is with you and the Vision and Mission He’s shared will allow Green Tree to prosper within your part in the work of the Kingdom. I love you all so deeply and will be praying over you and for you. May you continue to grow in the grace and love of Christ Jesus until we meet again. If you can give me anything as a gift for my departure, it is that you continue to grow in your faith walk with Jesus and do whatever is needed to live into the Vision and Mission He has shared, without delay, and without waiting for God to send a new head pastor to walk with you. You will not harm the future ministry of a new pastor’s leadership in any way by being committed to living into what God has called you to do and be. In fact, you will remain the healthy, vibrant, surrendered Body of Christ that I know you to be.

With Love,

~Pastor Kim